I really want this blog to be something special. Of course writing helps me wrap up my feelings in a way that I can't seem to do verbally, and I'm always proud of the end result (not ashamed to say it y'all).
But that isn't what this blog is about, and compared to all of the others I have out there I want to make sure that I strip my thoughts down as cleanly and simply as I possibly can here. I don't WANT to turn my phrase with care. I want to plainly share how this experience has been, for others like me. For my future foster placements, and God willing my future child. I feel so humbled at this opportunity to really show God to someone else in this life in a really personal serving way. And I'm afraid that I'll get in the way somehow. That I'll stress too much on how this looks to the world, or to my future self, or to a stranger that stumbles upon it, and end up blogging less.
Just a quick click through my other endeavors reveals that, while I'm really good at serving the world steak instead of slop in blog form, I only "ring the dinner bell" randomly. It's too stressful and I allow it to become another task out in the universe I'm failing to complete. Boo to that.
I spent thirty minutes trying to think of a title for this blog. I am open to suggestions. I want the title to tell anyone who reads it that THIS is the spot you can come to when you just want to hear what Heidi's mind is thinking, soul is feeling. I'm putting everything I have into this, which isn't something I can honestly say about any other aspect of my life. Truly, both hands are involved 100%. And I'm happy about it. Scared, terrified actually, but abundantly happy.
Hence, two hands one smile.
Why do I care about the title? Man, it's going to be hard to let all of that stuff go and just put what I'm thinking down here. But I want it out, in a permanent authentic way. So let's try.
-Heidi
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